Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
