Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
