she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
