so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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