How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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