Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
