every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
