yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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