And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
