My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
