i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
