just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
