I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
