My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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