At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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