70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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