He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
