nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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