Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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