I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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