hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize