Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
