i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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