I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
