my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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