i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
