I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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