I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
