Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
