Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
