do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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