Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
