She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
