You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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