He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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