My hair reeks of homosexuality.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You need a sexual gate keeper
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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