he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
