Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
