My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
