Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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