I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
