Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize