It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize