he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
