flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
