Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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