she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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