We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can I color on your dick again?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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