I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
