Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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