I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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