wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
