You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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