I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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