I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
